Turns out you can't control your heart
by marivon
Summary: Heather has just walked in on Vincent and Catherine. How does Catherine get Vincent out of the flat? How much can she tell Heather? Will Catherine and Vincent get a second chance at trying that kiss and talk about some of their issues? A little something to tide us over until 'Tough Love' - THREE CHAPTERS UP NOW AND COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

**Turns out you can't control your heart**

Catherine didn't think that her heart could ever beat any faster than it had just a few seconds ago. Vincent had slowly approached her making her back towards the kitchen counter, intensely looking into her eyes, and when she finally didn't have anywhere left to go he had leaned in to kiss her, ignoring her frantic rambling and listening to her body instead. But then Heather had interrupted them.

And Heather was still standing there with that stupid grin on her face, apparently waiting for an explanation. Cat stared daggers at Heather, her heart beating even faster than it had just done before. Catherine didn't dare look at Vincent who had frozen next to her. Catherine had played out this scenario in her head thousands of times, it had in fact become her worst nightmare: Vincent being discovered because he let his guard down around her. Granted, it was 'only' Heather who had run in on them but Cat knew it would be very difficult to explain that 'the new man in my sister's life' was not something to broadcast to the whole world. How could she have been so careless?

She should have taken Vincent out onto the balcony or into her room as soon as she entered the apartment. But she had been so glad to see him, overwhelmed really, because finally that night everything that had happened over the last few weeks made sense. It still left her with a raw feeling, but she got it now: Vincent had repeatedly tried to explain how he had just tried to do the right thing for everyone involved but Cat had not been able to believe him. She had thought it was a lame excuse. Only when Alex had told her face to face that she thought Vincent had long outgrown his first love and only loved her, Cat, did it finally hit her. His feelings for her really had not changed. And she could trust him.

Vincent still hadn't moved. Catherine slowly turned her head towards him and tried to catch his eyes. He was intently staring at the floor. She had to do something, get him out of there before Heather asked more questions. "I think you should go, it's late anyway," she said, lifting her trembling hands onto Vincent's chest. He finally looked at her. She couldn't help but smile at him. "I think my sister wants to talk to me." "Hmm, OK…" was all Vincent was able to say and he was starting to turn to go towards the balcony door when Catherine grabbed his arm. "Let me walk you to the front door, OK?" He nodded ever so slightly and Catherine could read in his face that he was mentally cursing himself for moving towards the wrong door. "Go, just go… I'll be fine," Cat whispered to Vincent as she shoved him out the door. "I'll call you in a little while!" She didn't wait for Vincent to turn and leave before slamming the door in his face. Worrying about what the expression on his face meant, she turned to face Heather who was still standing in the same spot but had crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking very much like a parent who has just caught their teenage kid sneak back into the house at 4am.

"I'm waiting…" said Heather. "Well," Catherine didn't really know what to say, "looks like I got myself a valentine date after all." "And how come you didn't tell me about this date?" "It's not like we planned to even spend the evening together… It just happened…You're the one to talk, you agreed to go on a date with Joe's brother about 17 seconds after you met!" Cat tried to defend herself. " But that's me, not you! You don't do this, bring guys back to your flat not before you've been to theirs for at least a dozen times… Unless! Unless he is 'ass'," Heather said, as the penny dropped. "And… I think I've seen him before," she continued, spinning around and rushing into her bedroom. Cat took of her coat and went to the fridge to get herself a beer – she felt like having something a lot stronger but beer was all they had.

"That was Vincent Zalanski!" Heather said triumphantly. Catherine spun around and saw her sister waving a photograph at her. Cat's heart missed a beat: it was a picture of herself and Vincent dancing at the wedding. Yet another instant of their lives when they had been so absorbed in one another that they hadn't even seen the photographer. Cat swallowed hard. "So what?" was all she could come up with. "Look, I'm going to bed. I have the early shift tomorrow and then we can talk about this– and about your date with Darius— after work tomorrow. "You're not getting out of this one, you know that, right?" said Heather and then, as she walked back to her room, she started singing in a monotonous voice: "Catherine has a boyfriend, Catherine has a boyfriend…," giggling to herself like a twelve-year old.

As soon as she had closed her bedroom door, Catherine rang Vincent. He immediately picked up: "Hey! How are you doing?" Catherine heard the worried tone in his voice. "Hey," she said, smiling into the phone. "Are you smiling?" Vincent asked, surprised. "Yeah, why? Are you watching me?" Cat answered. "No, I can hear it in your voice." said Vincent. "Where are you?" "On my way back to the warehouse, why?" Catherine sat down on the bed and took her shoes off: "Too bad, I was hoping you'd hang around… you know, to finish what we started!" "Catherine," Vincent breathed into the phone, "what did your sister say? How did she react? Who will she tell?" "Well, she was surprised at first but I think she's kinda happy for me. We're going to talk about it tomorrow evening so I have time to think up a somewhat coherent story about how Vincent Zalanski exists although I said he didn't exist." "Vincent Zalanski?" "Yeah, turns out Heather has a picture of the two of us dancing at the wedding – she recognized you from that picture." Catherine could hear Vincent inhale sharply. He grunted. Cat wished she could be at his side to reassure him that she was fine and that she was going to protect him, no matter what. "I'll think of something, Vincent, trust me." "OK." He didn't sound convinced. "I need to ask you something," Catherine ventured on.

"Vincent, what happened to your super hearing? How come you didn't hear Heather come down the corridor?" Vincent took a few second to reply: "Yeah, I was wondering about that myself. I guess I was too distracted… taking you in with all my senses… I blocked everything else out without even realizing it… Does that make sense?" "It makes complete sense to me, all I could hear was my own heart," Catherine replied and closed her eyes as the memories of him moving towards her not so long ago flooded back. "You know, I think that's the most amazing compliment anyone has ever paid me… but I also think that it's something we have to be really careful about!" she said, shaking her head to get rid of the image of Vincent being so close to her. "Yes, I know," said Vincent. "I can't remember seeing or hearing a photographer at the wedding, either, and I am usually really good at taking in everything around me. And Heather, I don't know how I let her sneak up on us like that… I'm sorry, Catherine, I should never have come over tonight knowing that Heather was in the flat!" "No, Vincent, I'm glad you came. So glad. And I'm sorry, too. I should have taken you to my room straight away – I don't know what I was thinking! Or maybe I was thinking too much…" Catherine's voice trailed off. It felt so good to speak to Vincent without trying to keep him at an arm's length.

"I missed this. Talking to you like this. I missed you," she suddenly said before she could help herself. She smiled again as she could hear Vincent's growling voice, almost a whisper: "Catherine, you're really making this difficult for me… How am I supposed to go back to the warehouse, let alone get some sleep now?" "I don't think I'll be able to sleep much either – see you on the fire escape in fifteen?" Cat said and quickly hung up before Vincent could reply. She jumped off the bed, slipped out of her clothes and quickly jumped in the shower, a thousand butterflies in her stomach at the thought of Vincent coming back to her so soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Catherine slipped into the flannel pyjamas Vincent had given her for her birthday and quickly dried her hair. Her makeup had become all smudged in the shower and she quickly washed the rest of it off. She was nervous but so glad that she had asked Vincent to come back. She had rushed herself in the bathroom and was not sure whether fifteen minutes had already passed or not when she opened the sliding door that lead back to her room and –her heartbeat increasing with each step- approached the window. He was there, sitting in his usual spot, and as she opened the window, he quickly got up and was in her room in a flash. "Your hair is still a bit wet," he said while lowering the window. "Cute PJs, by the way." He smiled, more to himself than to her, Cat thought. He hadn't really looked her straight in the eyes yet and he seemed on edge. "Vincent," said Catherine, taking a step closer and resting her hand on his arm. "What are the chances of Heather walking in on us twice in less than an hour? Relax, please!"

Vincent finally looked at her. His eyes seemed filled with several, contradicting emotions. "So," he said, " where were we? Oh yeah, we were saying that we should take things slowly," turning towards her and taking a step closer. "Totally," Catherine managed to whisper before he extended his arm and gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face: "Let things unfold naturally…" Vincent continued, and Catherine could already feel his breath on her face. Catherine was about to say "right" – they had started this silly game of repeating their earlier conversation switching roles and she wanted to finish it – but the urge to kiss him simply was too great. They were only inches apart. She took one final step towards him, leaning against his cold jacket and lifting her head slightly, waiting for his lips to find hers. But Vincent hesitated, and instead brought his right hand up and cupped her face. Catherine couldn't help but sigh at his touch. That seemed to do the trick. In a split second, Vincent's lips were on hers. The first kiss was tentative: his lips just lightly brushed hers but just seconds later they became more demanding and exploring. Catherine leaned into Vincent even more and opened her mouth, eager to taste more of him.

After a few minutes of passionate kissing, Vincent pulled away with a sigh and, still cupping her head in his hand, took a step back with an expression in his eyes Catherine had never seen before. "Vincent?" she asked, confused. "Is something wrong?" "No, no," he said, taking a few deep breaths, " I just need to breathe. I feel like my heart is about to pop out of my ribcage." Cat smiled and, after unbuttoning his jacket, leaned against his chest to listen to his heart: "Sounds a little bit erratic to me, perhaps you should go and see a doctor," she joked, taking a step back as she gently pushed his jacket over his broad shoulders onto the floor. She then turned her back to him and cuddled into him, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around her waist. Vincent's breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine. "So, is this how you imagined our Valentine's date?" Cat asked, enjoying their newfound closeness. "In my dreams… scratch that, not even in my dreams," said Vincent in his husky voice, and without looking at him, Catherine knew he was smiling.

He leaned in closer and started kissing her neck. Cat felt like someone had just pulled a rug away from under her feet. She needed to grab on to something and dug her fingers into his arms that were still holding her in a tight lock. Vincent stopped immediately. "Is that not good?" he asked concerned, releasing her enough for her to be able to half turn towards him. "Perhaps a bit too good…" Catherine whispered, looking into his face. "Oh!" said Vincent, visibly relieved. Cat blushed and then took the few steps that separated them from her bed, holding on to Vincent's hand. But he wouldn't sit down next to her. He remained standing, at a slightly weird angle from Catherine and avoiding her glance. "Vincent?" Cat asked. "Please talk to me, what's wrong?" "I'm just trying to calm down a bit, sorry, " said Vincent quietly.

Catherine's heart skipped and Vincent noticed straight away. He quickly kneeled down in front of her and took both her hands in his. "Too much adrenaline?" Catherine managed to say, swallowing hard. "No, it's nothing like that. I mean, I was worried about whether I could control myself or if my adrenaline would turn me if we ever got really close." Catherine nodded and said: "It looks to me that you are in control, I mean at least so far… Did you feel you were losing control before? Is that why you stopped?" "No, no. I felt fine, great actually. I mean, don't get me wrong, you have an intoxicating effect on me, and my adrenaline definitely shot up, but at the same time, I don't know how to explain it, you also calm me down. It feels so natural being around you, being with you. I don't think I've ever felt in the last ten years, really…" said Vincent. Cat furrowed her brow. "But you're worried about something, something is holding you back. I can tell, and if it's not losing control and hurting me – not that you ever would, I know that—what is it, Vincent?" "You know me too well, Catherine," said Vincent, squeezing her hand as he sat down next to her. He brought both his hands up to his face and shook his head. Catherine decided to give him time.

"It's just that," Vincent started out a few minutes later during which Catherine had sat next to him quietly, just lightly resting her head against his shoulder, "it's just that when I am close to you, like when we danced at the wedding, or in the living room earlier, and again kissing just now, I can't seem to see past you. All I see, taste, smell, hear and feel is you. You take over all my senses; you… you fill me up completely. The rest of the world disappears." Catherine lifted her head in surprise while Vincent spoke and turned to look him in the eyes. A look of despair had crept into his face: "And it scares me because when I'm lost in you I can't protect you from the world. I can't protect myself. I mean, if it had been an agent from Muirfield earlier, we'd both be dead just because I cannot see past you…" Vincent's voice trailed off. Catherine didn't know what to say and sat next to him in silence for a while. Then she got up and stood in front of Vincent, gently pushing his legs apart so she could stand between them really close to him before hugging him to her small frame. He sighed and gently laid his head on against her left shoulder. "I cannot lose you, Catherine," said Vincent. "And you won't," said Catherine.

"Now, tell me what your senses tell you about me." "What?" said Vincent, and he was about to pull back to look at Catherine. Catherine gently pressed his head against her shoulder and repeated: "Describe to me what you hear, fell and smell." First, Vincent was reticent: "Well, I hear your heart beat and your breathing. I feel your hand on the back of my neck and I can smell your skin through your pyjamas…" Vincent's voice started to trail off; Catherine could tell he was embarrassed and could not see the usefulness of this exercise. "Just bear with me, Vincent darling, please!" she said. Vincent's head shot up. "You just called me darling," he said, smiling despite himself. "Focus, silly man," Catherine retorted, smiling back. "Be more specific. What does my skin smell like?" "Well, your skin smells of your shower gel, mint and green tea, right?" Catherine nodded. "And of your deodorant. Then there is a faint odour of your shampoo behind your ears; you were in a hurry in the shower and probably did not rinse all of it off properly. And then there is you. Your skin smells like you." Vincent fell silent. "OK. Good. But we both know there is more. Go on," Catherine encouraged him. Vincent sighed: "OK. So… Well. I mean, as we kissed, your body heated up and you got… " he gulped, "you got excited, aroused. There's still a trace of that lingering in the air." Catherine chuckled at his embarrassment. "OK. Now, what exactly is my heartbeat at the moment?"

Vincent fell silent while listening to her heart. "90 beats per minute. Quite high…" said Vincent, "but it was well over 110 in the dining room earlier, I think." "Hmmm," said Catherine, taking his face in her hands and starting to trail kisses down his scar before pressing her lips against his. They kissed passionately for a while until Catherine suddenly pulled away from Vincent for a few seconds to ask: "What's Heather's heart rate now?" before resuming the kiss. "58 beats per minute; she's sound asleep," Vincent said about a minute later, still unable to pull away from Catherine. "And the guy downstairs?" "54, and he has a bit of arrhythmia." "And does my neighbour across the hall have an alarm clock sitting on her bedside table?" More kissing. "Yes! And she smells of onion and garlic," said Vincent. "And is someone else in the building besides us up this late?" "Yes," mumbled Vincent while kissing Catherine's neck, "a woman on the second floor. Sounds like she's watching TV and crying…" "How far away is she from us? What does her heartbeat and her breathing pattern tell you about her physical shape? How long would it take her to get to us if she were a threat?" Catherine said, trying to catch her breath. "About two minutes." "Plenty of time then, right?" said Catherine, pulling away from Vincent. "It would be plenty of time for the two of us to get out of here, if she were a Muirfield agent." Vincent looked at her in amazement.

Catherine took Vincent's hands in hers and looked into his eyes. "I know there are no scientific tests when it comes to you and your abilities, Vincent, but I don't believe you could ever get so lost in me as to really put our lives at risk. Yes, we need to be more careful than we were at the wedding or tonight with Heather." Vincent nodded and smiled a thankful, relieved smile at her. Catherine's thought briefly went to Tess, her soon-to-be ex-partner. "I need to be a lot more careful at work, too" she said. "What happened?" said Vincent, seeing the sadness on her face. "Tess caught me destroying evidence. She's not going to turn me in but she doesn't trust me anymore. She's asking for a new partner in the morning," Catherine said while going to the bathroom to retrieve the piece of paper she had ripped from the dead journalist's notebook. She handed it to Vincent and sat down next to him. He was shaking his head in disbelief: "I can't believe Alex would be so naïve. And I'm so sorry about Tess," he said, lifting Catherine's head up to face him. "I really am sorry. You risk so much for me every day…" "Gladly," Catherine whispered, "you're worth the risk, Vincent."


	3. Chapter 3

"So do you think JT stayed over at Sarah's tonight?" Catherine asked Vincent as she took the piece of paper that got her into trouble with Tess from his hands and ripped it into small pieces before putting it in the bin. She moved back to the bed and snuggled up to Vincent who gladly wrapped his arms around her and let his chin rest on her head. "I guess so," he said, dreamily. "Otherwise he'd have called like two dozen times already, I'm sure." Cat chuckled and then her chuckle turned into a yawn. "I should go," said Vincent. "You need to sleep!" "Yeah, like that's gonna happen tonight," said Catherine turning to look into his eyes. "Please stay – if you go, this," she said pointing at him first and then to herself, "this will feel so unreal, like a dream. I don't think it has sunk in yet." "Well, then let's make sure it does sink in," said Vincent and bent down to kiss her.

Suddenly, he bolted from the bed and in a flash was standing at the window. "Heather!" he whispered before disappearing out into the night. Cat quickly slipped into bed and switched off the light. After a few minutes she heard the toilet flush, and she waited for Vincent to come back to her once he was sure Heather was fast asleep again. His skin was ice cold when he came in again: he had left his jacket on the floor. Cat switched on the reading light and gestured him to come under the covers with her but Vincent shook his head: "Don't tempt me like that, Catherine!" He sat down on the edge of the bed instead and took her hand. Suddenly a shadow crossed his face. "What is it, Vincent?" "Bad flashback to the last time I was sitting like this, when you were in hospital. I nearly lost you. Just the thought…" He was unable to finish the sentence. Cat sat up and pulled Vincent towards her, manoeuvring him to sit next to her so she could snuggle into his arms. "We never really talked about the night of the wedding in much detail. I meant to ask you all this time: How did you find me? How did you know I was in trouble?"

Vincent tightened his hold on her and answered: "Well, I told you tonight that you fill my senses, right? So, I don't know how this works but usually I can hear or smell that someone is in danger if they are a mile or less away from me. But with you it's different. I was walking, well, nearly running back to the city, after the wedding – my senses still jumbled because of our dance together and then all these thoughts about Evan's discovery raging in my head. Then you called me, once, twice, and I couldn't bring myself to answer your call. And then, suddenly, even though you were definitely more than a mile away I felt your heartbeat speeding up – it must have been when the car overturned. It's all a bit of a blur… I must have been at least three, if not four miles away from the road. But I could feel your heart as if it were mine. And I ran, just ran towards your heart. And I could feel your fear as Sabrina shot you… Even before I reached the road, I knew that you were fighting for your life..." Vincent shook his head as the memories flooded back. Catherine sat up and took his face in her hands, looking at him lovingly.

"I was so scared I'd be too late. Even before I saw you, I knew that you would need medical help and so I struggled to stay me, I tried to keep control while running to you but when I saw you, unconscious, and the life seeping out of you, when I couldn't get to you… it just got too much. I tried to get back to being me once I had ripped the car door off, to be of some help to you but I couldn't. All I wanted to do is run to a hospital with you in my arms but I knew that that would definitely kill you. If Evan hadn't shown up…" Catherine shut Vincent up with a long kiss before saying: "But he did show up. And I'm still here. We're here." Vincent closed his eyes and just enjoyed their embrace.

He didn't say anything for a while and Catherine was wondering whether he'd actually fallen asleep. "I left you there and Evan took care of you. I was cowering in the bushes praying for you not to leave me. You cannot imagine my relief when you drew that first proper breath after he had pierced your lung. I don't think I've ever heard a more beautiful sound in my life than that first breath you took lying there." Catherine sat up again, cradled Vincent's face in her hand and waited for him to continue. "I followed the ambulance all the way to the hospital and just listened to that amazing sound, you breathing, breathing again, and then they prepped you for surgery. I finally managed to calm down and called JT. I was a wreck, saying to JT that I was going in, to check on you, that I didn't care who'd see me, and that perhaps you got doctors who didn't know what they were doing… He talked me out of it, talked to me like to a sick puppy for like half an hour while he was driving to the hospital. And then it took him another hour to convince me to go home with him." Catherine smiled while she hugged Vincent even tighter: "Remind me to give JT an embarrassingly long hug next time I see him…" she said and then rested her head on Vincent's chest, listening to his heart and playing with the buttons of his T-shirt.

"I think I might actually be falling asleep," said Cat after a while. "Please don't go even if I do… Promise?" "OK, Catherine!" "Vincent?" "Yes?" "Also, could you make sure not to get drugged on Valentine's Day next year?" "I'll try," said Vincent smiling a tired, content smile before placing a kiss on Cat's forehead. For a brief moment, she caught herself worrying about what to say to Heather. She would have to figure something out. Tomorrow.

Despite everything, Muirfield, Alex, Tess, and Heather, Cat was happy. "You know, she whispered to Vincent, "we may not have moved slowly tonight but things have definitely unfolded naturally, if you ask me." Because nothing seemed more natural to Cat than falling asleep in Vincent's arms.

**Author's Note**

**OK, that's it, folks. No smut because I don't think that they would want to risk it with Heather in the other room. And these two needed a long, good talk anyway. Thanks for reading and thank you for the reviews : ) **


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